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The Snark Review of: A Quiet Place

The views of the Snark do not reflect the views or Opinions of 13th Hour Online or any of their partners or affiliates in any way. This is purely satirical and meant for a laugh and nothing more. (So lighten up Francis ) These reviews may contain spoilers of this film (or possibly others or even the ending of LOST…..sorry JJ ) so reader beware. The views expressed within are solely the views of a jaded, grumpy old man, who loves Batman a little too much, and wants you to get  off his lawn.

 

Thus Follows My Spoiler Filled Review of A Quiet Place Starring Emily Blunt and Jim Halpert, directed by Jim Halpert based loosely off a real live story by Jim Halpert

If you’ve seen any ad for this movie, you know what it is about. There are monsters. They hunt things that make noise. Wacky hinjinx ensue. Honestly there is not much more to the movie itself then what is in the trailers, so I’ll just point out some things that were brought up during the flick.

 

Even though Jim Halpert and Emily Blunt play people who are basically MacGyvers, they couldn’t figure how to not get pregnant because all babies do is eat and MAKE ALL THE NOISE!!!!

All teenagers are the worst, even deaf and mute ones.

Other survivors, especially elderly people, need no back story.

In a film where the entire plot is about getting killed for making the slightest little sound, why did the couple sitting next to me never ever shut the fuck up????

I won’t say this was an amazing movie and I can’t say it was horrible, so I’ll just list it as “A movie I saw”

3 meh’s out of meh