The Snark

The Snark: Review of Disney’s The Jungle Book

The views of the Snark do not reflect the views or Opinions of 13th Hour Online or any of their partners or affiliates in any way. This is purely satirical and meant for a laugh and nothing more. (So lighten up Francis ) These reviews may contain spoilers of this film (or possibly others or even the ending of LOST…..sorry JJ ) so reader beware. The views expressed within are solely the views of a jaded, grumpy old man who loves Batman a little too much and wants you to get  off his lawn.

The Jungle Book aka Beastmaster: The Beginning spoilers

Following the runaway hits of animated classics turned live action not so classics, Disney now brings us The Jungle Book. The pathetic guy from Swingers has put together an all star cast in this latest adaptation of Rudyard Kipling’s classic book adaptation of the animated film, not to be confused with the forthcoming production of the same book coming next year from directors Gollum and Smeagol.

For those of you who haven’t seen the 1967 animated film or read Kipling’s book adaptation, the story follows a child named Mowgli (played by a random child in a diaper), who is raised by wolves (played by the pack of wolves from the Grey). The child is hunted by Shere Khan (played by the tiger from Gladiator who sounds a lot like the guy from Luther) because humans have the power of the “red flour” (some sort of baking term for fire) and will bring about the destruction of the jungle. Little do the other animals know, Shere Khan is right and they go out of the way to protect the little bastard who burns half the place down. Along the way, Mowgli encounters Gandhi as a Panther, the snake from Anaconda, the bear from the Revenant and King Louie (played by Christopher Walken in the most amazing make up I’ve seen in ages) and his army of monkeys from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

This might have been one of the best films about a half naked child in the company of talking animals I’ve seen in ages. The cinematography was breath taking. The soundtrack was terrific (They found a way to squeeze in all two memorable songs from the animated version.) I couldn’t really ask for more out of this movie, aside from justifying seeing it in 3D (it added nothing)