The views of the Snark do not reflect the views or Opinions of 13th Hour Online or any of their partners or affiliates in any way. This is purely satirical and meant for a laugh and nothing more. (So lighten up Francis ) These reviews may contain spoilers of this film (or possibly others or even the ending of LOST…..sorry JJ ) so reader beware. The views expressed within are solely the views of a jaded, grumpy old man, who loves Batman a little too much, and wants you to get off his lawn.
Thus follows a spoiler filled review of Zod and Gordy’s road-trip across state lines with a minor aka Tomorrowland 2.
I’m gonna start by saying I liked this movie and I don’t feel the need to see it ever again, which is pretty much what I’ve said about every other Jeff Nichols film I’ve seen. I like them. They’re well made. He gets the exact same performance out of General Zod every time. They don’t make me feel like I’ve missed something by only seeing them once.
On the whole, this movie feels exactly like a lot of the scenes from 80’s sci-fi films mashed together in a cohesive story. There’s the kid on the run, a random shady cult, bad guy government agents but one government agent who becomes a good guy. There’s even a scene involving someone getting a pistol, walking up to a door and asking “Are you Sarah’s mother?” “yes?” BOOM…Arnold did it better though cause fuck you its Arnold.
General Zod played the exact same part that he plays when he’s not trying to destroy the Earth to make into Krypton. That part is “awkwardly creepy mother fucker that you don’t want to hang out with on your own ever who also has problems emoting”. He’s like a likeable Hayden Christensen without trying to fake being angry and also less mother issues.
Gordy was Gordy. Gordy is always Gordy, unless he’s in Warrior. Then he’s Gordy fighting Bane.
Kylo Ren, taking a break from trying to open a Hot Topic on every planet in the galaxy, plays the government agent with the heart of gold. You can see his story arc coming a mile away, because we’ve all seen that movie before.
The non-descript, possible messiah, creepy kid who also might be the future leader of the X-men, does great with what he has to work with. “Hey kid, be creepy, say random stuff, shoot shit out of your eyes….” He has a lot of range.
Like I said, I dug this movie. I didn’t love it. I’d say walk, don’t run to go check this one out.